since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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