): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
