then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
