Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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