these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
