ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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