that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
