i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize