do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
