You can't motorboat a personality
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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