I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
