For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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