I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
