I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
