just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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