but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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