Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
