the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
