Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize