So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
