Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize