is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
