You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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