Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
