Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didn't notice because vodka
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize