By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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