Screwed.edu
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
