we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
