Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
