Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
