Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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