i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
