i permit you to call me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
