apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
