How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
