so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
