wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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