they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
