peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
