By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
