We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
