So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize