Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I want is dick and wine.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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