he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
