Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
