You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
this boner is exhausting
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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