I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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