i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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