he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
