you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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