according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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