sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
