WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
