i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
