i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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