Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
