He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
