Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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