it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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