Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
