Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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