; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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