If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
