We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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