the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
