I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
