Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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