My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Still dying that you shit outside
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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