He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
